Sunday, February 22, 2009
"I Stay In Love" Mariah Carey
Oh baby
Baby, I stay in love with you
Dying inside 'cause I can't stand it
Make or break up
Can't take this madness
We don't even really know why
All I know is baby
I try and try so hard
To keep our love alive
If you don't know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's a mistake if we just erase it
From our hearts and minds and I know
[Chorus:]
We said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
'cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you
And I keep on telling myself
That you'll come back around
And I try to front like "Oh well"
Each time you let me down
See I can't get over you now
No matter what I do
But baby, baby
I stay in love with you
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Baby, I stay in love with you
It cuts so deep
It hurts down to my soul
My friends tell me
I ain't the same no more
We still need each other
When we stumble and fall
How we gonna act
Like what we had
Ain't nothin' at all now
Hey, what I wanna do is
Ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block
Proud in the SUV
We both know our heart is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone
Now go I know
[Chorus x2]
I stay in love
Love
Oh, I stay in love.
song dedicated to him whom i still love dearly.
been a year. being single. and its finally got to me. ive become short-tempered, crying whenever i feel so helpless. it sucks being in this state. and i reminisce the years that i was in love with him. and ive only been in love once. i wont mention names. the rest of the guys ive dated, it was more like a crush. something i got over within months. but for him, i remembered crying for a year. but he never was in love with me. coz he moved on within months. nevertheless, despite my egoness, ive never stop loving him. and no one knows that.
i hate being the person i am now. and no one even like me now. retribution of my mistakes. if only i could turn back time.
the end.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
im crying. shit. i hate this.
i miss my past. very much. i wanna go back. and do things right.
omg. i cant do this any longer.
to smile when im actually hurting.
the end.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
i havent forgotten. but i chose to ignore it.
dont know if you still read this but wadaver right.
anyway, Happy Birthday. (belated)
the end.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
eunice is right.
HE IS NOT WORTH IT!
the first time we broke, he had Sarah.
then the second, Ella. months after we broke up.
if he really loved me like he said he did, he would stay and wait for me. no matter how long.
just like i am doing now. i still love my first love. always will. no matter what i said.
only eunice knows how i really feel. not even the guys know.
but u know what, its time i let go.
ive been single for a year. whats a few more years would do to me?
i know i will cry but let me be alone till the one comes by.
the end.
Monday, November 10, 2008
today is Fahrul's birthday.
Happy Birthday Badut!!
haiz.. kesian kawan aku.. his gf committed suicide.. and ive been trying to console him since saturday. really kesian seh.. the girl pun very lawa.. entah nape she resort to that.. he was willing to wait.. but yet.. haiz.. sabar kay fir.. i understand how he feel.. i be the same if my bf died.. haiz..
oh.. and did i mention, someone in our group like me? sofia guessed it right! and we were just saying WHAT IF. and the next day, a confession from him!! omg! its a secret between us. shall not say...
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
dee..ape yg bagus sangat pasal aku sampai org sanggup mati pasal tak dpt ngan aku?..
.:~Ana~.: says:
entah lah fir.. masing2 will think differently.. to me.. u treat the one u love very well.. u care for her.. u love her.. maybe thats what she likes abt u... maybe dia tak dpt tu semua from her family.. and when she lost that pillar, she crumble.. maybe too great for her that she did what she did..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
haiz....its wrong
.:~Ana~.: says:
wrong? to do what she did?
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
yah la
.:~Ana~.: says:
true..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
haiz
.:~Ana~.: says:
how she killed herself?
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
tak mkn....den elan pill
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
telan*
.:~Ana~.: says:
i see.. takkan her family didnt see it coming?
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
nope
.:~Ana~.: says:
okay.. sabar kay... its not ur fault it happened..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
bt dee...bile adik die call me n ask me to give her sister back...aku tak leh ckp ape2...
.:~Ana~.: says:
mestilah.. kau bukan tuhan to do that.. and i can understand why her adik said that.. its a natural reaction when u lose someone to death.. all u can do is say sorry.. and hope that they find comfort in that..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
y seh all this happen
.:~Ana~.: says:
dugaan.. things happen to people.. no one had never gone tru pain n suffering.. kita kene tabah.. mungkin esok lusa hari aku pula..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
takde la...mintak dijauh kan
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
but my love life is always ike this...
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
mcm kene curse gitu
.:~Ana~.: says:
nolah.. mungkin lum tiba mase nye.. aku pun same senasib ngan kau juga.. dah bertahun aku menangis.. tetap same juga.. seem to always fall for the wrong guy.. or someone who is attached..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
bile aku dpt tau pasal ni...aku cant stop cryin siol...nangis jer berjam2...
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
apesal la idup aku gini
.:~Ana~.: says:
maybe its a way god is punishing us for our sins.. dah memang tertulis..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
haiz
.:~Ana~.: says:
ur're strong.. u never give up in persuing what u want in life.. and i hope u never stop doing that.. obstacles will always come to hinder us from being successful.. but its a way we learn and grow to be a better person.. mungkin tuhan nak kau sedar that he can take away what he had given u so dont take it for granted..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
bt jng la mcm gini...she still can live...y take her life seh
.:~Ana~.: says:
hidup mati dah ditentukan oleh tuhan.. im sure u know that.. we cant question his doing.. we have to believe theres a reason why she had to leave..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
haiz
.:~Ana~.: says:
i know its hard.. but be strong.. she may leave u in this world.. but she'll remain in ur memories.. loving someone doesnt mean u have to own her.. just be glad that she had been part of ur life once upon a time..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
so sad
.:~Ana~.: says:
i understand.. be brave kay.. none of this is ur fault.. so dun blame urself.. its something that was God's Will..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
yah la..i just hope tuhan syg die...jng torture die
.:~Ana~.: says:
insyaallah.. together we pray for her..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
thnx dee
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
that tyme dir call aku...aku tak leh ckp ape2 siol...
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
aku jwb sepatah sepatah jer
.:~Ana~.: says:
its okay.. im sure he faham how u were feeling then..
.:~Ana~.: says:
kita semua concern pasal kau..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
thnx...dont worry la..i wont do stupid stuff...unless da takdir aku pon pegi la
.:~Ana~.: says:
glad to know u wont do stupid stuff.. but if u need to talk, im sure anyone of us will be more than willing to do so.. jgn simpan kan perasaan.. its not healthy..
~~Dmitri Prince Of Darkness~~ http://dmitri-is-firdaus.blogspot.com says:
da biase la aku simpan semua kat dlm
.:~Ana~.: says:
but this is pekara berat.. u dun have to tell us.. thats not the only way of letting out ur emotions.. crying is another.. if u have to cry, just cry.. if u wanna talk, i be here to listen.. the choice is up to u.. we've been friends dah lame.. we should be able to share our joys and sorrow if we want to..
the end.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
my first and last love...
the end.
things i wish to forget.
1) my past
2) my heartaches
3) my tears
3) my loneliness
blame it on my stupidity.
1) to believe what a 3rd party had to say about my relationship
2) to let him go eventhough i still love him but denies that feeling
3) to do actions to make him jealous so that he will leave me eventhough he said he wouldnt
4) to follow my ego-ness and stubborness instead of my heart
thanks alot Diyana. for listening to yourself and fahrul, you've ended up like this.
well. theres no turning back now.
its hard when im the kind that forgives and never forget.
coz now, i'll never forget this feeling i have. damn it.
the end.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
i hate spring cleaning!
for the simple reason. seeing your hidden treasures and reminice of the past.
my love letters. my pictures. my gifts. my love poems. my SMSes. all from hamad.
yah, i still have them. cant bring myself to throw it away.
maybe what fahrul said was true. ive never stopped loving him.
but too bad he'd moved on.
a mistake on my part for trying to see how serious he was when he said he'll wait for me no matter how long?
maybe. but all that was said was not true. typical guys.
oh well. i'll just keep praying for HIM to show me who my special someone will be. if its meant to be, its meant to be.
till then, i shall live in my memories that used to make me smile and happy.
haha. pictures are pinned on my teacher's desk in school for me to see when im having my free periods.
OH! my stalker msged me that day. i didnt know it was him! shit! now he knows im still using my number.
alright. time for bed else i'll be dozing off while teaching!
the end.
finally, a new bed! after months of sleeping on the floor!!
bought it on friday at ikea after buka. fixed it on sat morning.
will upload pics soon!
haha. got abt 3 mats tugur and said "Wah...beli katil seh.."
i just smiled and ignored them. haha. but quite handsome. haha.
sempat cuci mate eh. hehe.
okay stop it.
ive been looking for love at all the wrong places.
time to find someone who can make me feel loved like i used to.
the end.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
FINALLY i cut my hair!!
haha. yah.. been asking ppl since year 2 ke year 3. haha.
"you think i should cut my hair?"
haha.
BUT very disappointed lah. i went to Jean Yip to cut hair. i told him lah i want till that length so i can still tie a bun. he cut so short i cant even tie my hair! he was so sorry lah. but i was like nvmlah its okay. dah potong, boleh buat ape kan. they were so fascinated lah when they saw my hair. damn long. haha. they cut and keep my hair. buat experiment agaknye. haha.
my very long hair. till my tailbone if i never tie.
the length they cut off before working on my hair.
my disappointed look coz he cut so short!
taken after i came home. remind me of my sec 4 days!
speaking of him, bumped into him at geylang just now. coz Diyana nak beli makan kat geylang. so i went with her. saw him and i was like "fuck!" serious. batal puasa aku. haha. told diyana. she was so excited. "yang mane? yang mane?" haha. funny lah that girl. then walk walk. bumped into him again but i buat bodoh jalan jer.. haha. so mean i know. bukan ape. tanak kene tuduh nak rampas laki org. thats the reason why i dont talk to him anymore.
oklah. nak rest. so damn tired. got alot to blog but so lazy!
the end.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
im crying now.
damnit!
just got a msg from azman. it was a new number. i recognised it was him coz he's the only one who called me Ana.
93950860 - Hi Ana. Happy Birthday. Btw im sorry for wat ive done. Take care always...
and i started crying right after reading his msg. cried so bad.
needed to talk to someone and saw fir online. msg him. then replied to azman.
Thanks. U too. Aniwae, i dunno why u did what u did to me bt i hope ur happy now.
he replied me this.
Entahlah... but i reli hope u forgive me. U hav done nothing wrong dun worry. Take care aite. N keep in touch.
and i feel like crying again.
the end.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
sept. bad month for me so far.
i had not smiled for days.
troubled. and alone.
need a shoulder to cry on.
the end.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
the end.
D' Masiv - Di Antara Kalian
Kuakui ku sangat sangat menginginkanmu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti
Ini semua harus terjadi
Kuakui ku sangat sangat mengharapkanmu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku tak akan bisa
Aku tak mengerti
Ini semua harus terjadi
Lupakan aku kembali padanya
Aku bukan siapa- siapa untukmu
Kucintaimu tak berarti bahwa
Ku harus memilikimu slamanya
Kuakui ku sangat sangat menginginkanmu
Tapi kini ku sadar ku diantara kalian
Aku tak mengerti
Ini semua harus terjadi
so in love with this song. quite long lah bt been busy to download.
things sucks at home. i wish i had someone to turn to at this time of need.
used to have that person. now hes gone.
damnit! why must money make life so complicated??!
the end.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
PHOTO BLOG time!! day didnt end quite well tho. and on top of that, i got diarrhoea! i woke up at 4am, 5.30am, 9am to crap! hahaha. sakit giler seh perut! finally woke up at 1pm from my disrupted sleep. haiz. now still can feel my stomach in a whirpool! haha. oh. and i guess, Fahrul dah jadi tunangan org today. Congrats!
starting with Southern Ridges trip.
yah. some turned out very disappointingly. haha. but first time using that lomo cam. lesson learnt. hehe.
next, Teachers' Day.
The pressies at the end of the day.
Part of what i had at Carousel. haha. i had more than these. The deserts, SUPERB!! i want more!
All together. =)
the end.