Monday, January 03, 2005
i've been feeling rather down lately.. things between me and hamad are definately bad as it seems... he went a week without msging me.. i can understand if he's busy and caught up.. but not even one msg to say 'have a nice day' or 'goodnite'.. it really makes me wonder since i've heard alot from the guys.. i dont wanna think about it but i cant.. i had always put my heart n soul into something special or in fact anything that i ever do.. and when it comes to relationships, i take it rather seriously.. i mean i know the reason he went back to me was mostly on guilt but i really dun need that... i just want it based on true feelings... its kinda hurting me badly and even now i feel like crying... i really dont need this.. i just want a guy who loves me back the same as i do... i feel strongly that he doesnt want to be with me... but what can i do? if only he hadnt asked me when he didnt mean it, i wouldnt be in this situation right now... i just feel like we are not a couple when we actually are.. am i too emotional? am i too paranoid? oh god please im begging you to help me... i really love him but why must he do this to me? i cant take anymore of this heartbreak.. i just cant.. please help me god... bring us back to how things were before... i know that things were never gonna be the same or in fact easy but i never though it would be this hard and heartbreaking for me... please god.. i cant help but shed tears but i do hope u would hear my cries and make things better again for us... please god... :'(
the end.