Wednesday, March 30, 2005
This picture was taken during Hari Raya 2 years ago. Well, someday we will be Together Forever. It's been nearly a week since I came back from camp. And it's been nearly a week that I've been spending time with Hamad. I can see that he is serious about getting back together. I mean, thats what we ever talked about every time. At times I feel so pressured by this. I longed for him to much. I miss him. I miss his touch. I miss the way he makes me happy ever time we were together. I just miss him a lot. I feel bad when Mama thought that we were actually back together when the truth is we are not. It's just that I'm afraid to give in this time. Too afraid. Afraid I be hurt again. Afraid that I be like a toy just to play around with. I'm just sick of it. As much as I love him, I need to give a lot of thought into this. I'm a committed person and I intend to have just one boyfriend in my years and who will become my husband in the future and be there for me till I die. Thats what I felt when I was with him last time but then again this time, if we were meant to be we will. The guys are so worried about me that every time they are online with me they always ask me "So are you going to get back with him?" And I always say I don't know and I will take a few months or even a year to see if he is really serious about it this time. It's like I'm testing him along the way with what I do and say. Firdaus seems pretty worried if I were to say yes to Hamad. Fairuz seems to have his concerns too but said that I make my own decision. And if I were back with him, he respect that decision and will always be a friend who be there to help me. Everyone thinks that I've given enough chances to Hamad. But he kept wasting it and advice me that I should not give in to him this time. I don't know. I told my best friend about this and she said its all up to me. She's so shocked about Hamad and Sara. This was her msg: "Eh..ko biar benar dia dulu dgn si sara gila tu..? engkau lagi mulia siaaa..aku mcm nak tercakap OH MY GOD!! Dia ok tak? Aku rasa specs dia rosak da lama da kot
Eee
" She also said that Sara masih mentah lagi.. Wad qualities could she possible have. She said I have much more qualities. At that point, I just don't know to laugh or what. But it's what Hamad see lah. Maybe he thinks that I lacked something at that point. But he knows I've already given my heart to him. He knows that I want to be with him. He knows that I love him. You know that don't you Hamad sayang? I hope that you won't be too worried or stressed out thinking about us okay? Just remember that there's no one else but you. Even after all that you did to me, I stayed true to you. It's kinda sad at times when I think about this. He had a few other girls in his life after me while I remained loving him. Am I stupid? Sometimes I think I am. At times I just stayed awake crying because I miss him so much but at the same time he was holding hands, hugging and saying ' I Love You ' to those girls. It broke my heart. Haha. But really it did. I did try to move on. I did eventually but I just couldnt find myself loving someone else. Now, he wants me back and I am holding back from him. Haiz. Well, we'll see how things go okay dear? Hope you won't think too much. The guys are just protective towards me because they care for me. They are like my brothers and they just don't want to see me being hurt again. Keep proving yourself that you meant what you say and what you want. Bear with whatever tests that may come your way and if your sincerity shows, I will be back with you dear. I Love You. *Muacks* FRANKIE J - Obsession (No Es Amor)
[Check check ...this happened for real ...Baby Bash..yo.. Frankie J.... Obsession]
Well it's early in the mornin'
And my heart is feelin' lonely
Just thinkin' bout you baby
Got me twisted in the head
And I don't how to take it
But It's drivin' me so crazy
I don't know if it's right
I'm tossin' turnin' in the bed
Well it's 5 o'clock in the mornin'
And I still can't sleep
Thinkin' bout your beauty
It makes me weak
I'm feelin' hopeless in my home
I don't know what to do
I think I'm in love
[Chorus:]
Amor...no es amor (If this ain't love)
Then what am I feelin' (Then what am I feelin')
What am I doin' wrong
Amor...no es amor (If this ain't love)
Is this an illusion (Is this an illusion)
That I have in my heart?
Now I know you're not my lady
But I'm tryin' make this right
I don't know what to do
I'm goin' out of my mind
So baby if you let me
Kick it wit chu and then maybe
We can ride together
We could do this all night
Now I don't care if you got a man
Baby I wish you'd understand
'Cause I know he can't love you right
Quite like I can
Well it's 5 o'clock in the mornin'
And I still can't sleep
Thinkin' bout your beauty
It makes me weak
I'm feelin' hopeless at home
I don't know what to do
I think I'm in love
[Chorus:]
Amor...no es amor (If this ain't love)
Then what am I feelin' (Then what am I feelin')
What am I doin' wrong
Amor...no es amor (If this ain't love)
Is this an illusion (Is this an illusion)
That I have in my heart?
Ooo I love the way you freaky like that
Ooo I love the way you freaky like that
Ooo I love the way you freaky like that
It's an obsession
[Baby Bash]
Hold up
Let me dream
Shorty got me feelin' serene
Where my candy and my cream
Got your boy feelin' supreme
Hold up
Wait a minute
Baby you so damn independent
Lovin' everything you representin'
Got a lot of money
And I'd love to spend it
And that's whats up and I don't care what people scream
You're my blessin' when I'm stressin'
My superfly beauty queen
I'ma keep it saucy
'Cause my ma know how I do
We gon' rendezvous
Mi corazon belongs to you
[Chorus:] [2x]
Amor...no es amor (If this ain't love)
Then what am I feelin' (Then what am I feelin')
What am I doin' wrong
Amor...no es amor (If this ain't love)
Is this an illusion (Is this an illusion)
That I have in my heart?
Amor
the end.