Friday, April 22, 2005
Tonight was abit off. Oh well. I went out for a meeting at Orchard for this Saturday's event with the guys. After that we went to grab a bite for a while coz i was starving. We spent about 10 mins eating at Mac. After that i went home alone coz i promised my hubby that i do. The guys asked me if i wanted to join them and play pool but i gave it a miss. It was getting late and i should be heading home. Messaged my hubby on my way back. After a while he said that he felt that i dun mean when i say ' I love you ' and that i wasnt like 100% in this relationship. And i was giving him the wrong or diff signal. I didnt know what to say. I mean if thats what he thinks, i really cant do anything.
Question 1 : Do i really love this guy?
Answer : Well. Honestly after all that he did to me, i hate him. I hate him so much for the pain and misery that he caused to me. I even swear that if EVER if he were to ask me back, i will tell him straight in the face "No thanks. I had enough of what u had done to me. I think its best if we move on without having each other in our lives." But when he did ask me back, what did i say? "OK." Many people would say that i am stupid to do so. But why did i do it? Because i know i still have feelings for him. Why did i stay single if not for him? Stupid of me they say but i kept faithful and strong to what i feel. I did that coz i truly love him. I forgave him despite of all the painful things he did. Coz i love him.
Question 2 : Am i giving 100% to this relationship?
Answer : I always give my all. It be just a waste of time if i'm not into it. I might as well be single or find myself a man. I dun wanna be single by the way. That answers my 3rd question.
Question 4 : Am i scared to be in this relationship right now with a man who broke my heart many times?
Answer : Yes. Wouldnt anyone be? Hmm. I bet not that many would actually accept ur ex for the 3rd or 4th time. But i did. And i got every reason to be scared that i'll be hurt again. But i am giving him a chance to prove himself that he means what he said. And i hope that he wont break my heart again.
Question 5 : Am i happy to be with him?
Answer : Yes. Wouldnt any girl be if u get to be with the man u truly really love? I love him and i miss him alot! Haiz. If only he knows.
Its already 2am. Its been a long day for me. And i still have work to do. So i guess i have to take my leave right now and finish up my work before taking my medicine and hitting the sack. He should probably be asleep right now. He said he got a terrible headache. I hope he be better soon.
Never be Replaced
1st Ladi
[Chorus]
Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time
From the day I met you
I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all
[Repeat Chorus]
I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time
the end.