Monday, September 12, 2005
Im feeling really insecure right now.. I dunno what i shld do.. Im going out with him tomolo and i dun wanna make a fuss.. Wonder why i feel this way.. Im even more afraid when i feel this way.. Coz he might just leave me bcoz of this.. But is he really meant for me? Do i even know this guy? Do i love him? Does he really love me like he said he does? Is his word true? Is he honest? Im feeling so pressurized..!!
I didnt mean to rake the past but i just cant forget it either.. I wanna start a new life and put the past behind me but i cant.. The past is still fresh in my mind... The scar is still there.. The tears i cried and the feeling of ending my life.. I cant let it go.. Its not fair for him either.. I dun want to feel this way.. Im sorry Hamad...I just cant let go... My insecurities just builds up whenever im with him.. What he said is true.. For it will make our lives miserable should we decide to leave each other.. Coz deep down we still care and love one another.. But i am breaking to pieces as time passes by.. The gurls, the heartbreaks.. Its tearin me apart.. I dont know what to do.. But its just not fair for him..
the end.