im somebody's princess now.

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blabbing what i want to say.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

stumbled across old photos during spring cleaning.
remincing.

i remembered posting an entry about my observation of someone's happiness by his smile.
and i saw mine. i could feel the happiness, the warmth of his hug and the tenderness of his lips.
all that from looking at the photo. Sentosa Trip on my birthday.

years have passed and i admit to have felt regrets of my actions.
i listened too much of what others have to say. their influence on me.
it was all my fault.

ive never been truly happy eversince. all my laughter and happiness didnt last long.
i could only hold on to the 6 over years of memories to keep me happy.

but im not here to break anyone up. i'll just wait for things to fall to place.

ive cried and still am crying. but no one is going to take his place to make me happy once again.

Ahmad Fahrul, thanks for the memories. eventhough you played with my heart, i forgive u.

Nor Azman, i dont know what went wrong. you left me like i was a used toy. i never expect that from you. till now i still cry coz of what you did. but i aint hoping for you to come back. you've disappeared and i know i will never hear from you ever again. you broke my heart so bad that i no longer believe in love. however, i do hope and wish you well and may you find happiness.

Muhd Fadzli, im sorry for breaking your heart. youre really a great guy but i cant find myself loving anyone anymore. but i hope you'll find your Ms Smelly soon and thanks for being so nice to me.

so yes. im no longer interested to fall in love. after Azman, i just cant bring myself to be with someone else. it hurts so much. even my mum realize it. i know she saw it in my eyes many times whenever i seriously and honestly said i wont find anyone to marry to my grandparents and my aunts. i just cant.

again, im not here to break anyone up. thats the reason why i no longer have hamad and whoever else number so that i wont be in touch. thats why i disappeared so that they can work on their own relationship. thats why i do things that may upset him so that he will leave me too. and each time i cry. coz i still care.

the end.

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